for the first and hopefully last time.
Last Sunday two other fine individuals and myself became members of Mission Bay Community Church and apparently, part of that process is to answer these questions about what we believe. I knew we were supposed to answer questions about what we believe, basic doctrinal stuff, but that's it. We get up there and Bruce tells us that we have to answer the question by saying "I Do." I had a minor internal freak out. This was followed by a week of nightmares of being railroaded into getting married to various people to help them get their green cards. Seriously.
My commitment phobia is monumental and my cluelessness regarding relationships is legengary. I have a recurring nightmare that my high school boyfriend shows up in the present day and announces that we are going to get married. He's a nice guy and all, but the reason we broke up was that he was older and wanted to get married when I graduated high school (HIGH SCHOOL) and I wanted to go to college (silly me). The dream is that after his arrival all of my circles, friends and family, are swept up into the frenzy of wedding planning and no one listens to my protests. I keep telling people that I don't want to do this and they just keep patting me on the arm and assuring me that it's all going to work out fine. There's one part of it where I'm following this guy around and in frustration trying to reinforce the fact that this is a bad idea b/c we don't know each other anymore and I am quizzing him on the last 17 years of my life to prove my point and he just ignores me.
If any of my readers feel the urge to share some pro-marriage platitudes or any "when you stop looking" stories, resist. This is really just a state-of-the-union post, not seeking any help or advice.