Off the Radar

This weekend was chill and wonderful and I went off the radar and enjoyed some relaxing me time. I get one of these Saturdays about 4 times a year, so I cherish them when they come aroud. I've decided that henceforth, unless absolutely necessary, I will no longer make plans for Friday nights. I don't like to be obligated to go anywhere after a week of working and other events. I am tired. I want to chill and clean out the DVR, so - memo to my adoring fans: Friday nights are MINE!

Saturday was errands, cleaning and laundry. Sunday was church, baking and a Law & Order marathon. Tonight the Lilster is coming up from LA and we'll have a girls night watching our favorite '80s comedy, Big Business.

I absolutely revel in these weekends of solitude and leisurly-paced life tending. Based on some of my conversations with God this Lenten season, I feel that I won't always have these little luxuries. This is a year of change for me, to what extent I only have a small hint.

As I languished this morning in my time change fog, I was reveling in my weekend and reading my daily Lenten meditaiton from Small Surrenders and the last sentence hit me - Is my heart open to God's transforming love? Mmmm...maybe. For years I have said yes to that question, with a clear view toward being formed in the image of Christ and a desire to deepen my relationship with God. Now, as God is asking me to stretch my definition of transforming love, I'm finding myself in a place of trepidation. As I don't know what this is going to bring or change, I'm realizing that it's not as easy to surrender now as it has been in times past and I'm working on digging deeper into those issues. Suffice it to say I am trying to enjoy the time I have and be open to what may come. Spring forward.