Life according to google

A meme liberated from MezzoSF & Wyld

Using Google, type in the following and choose the first result to pop up.
(I used my real first name in the search).

1. [your name] needs:
Tiffany needs to go back to being pregnant and funny.

2. [your name] looks like:
Tiffany looks like a toasted Miss Piggy on crack.

3. [your name] does:
Tiffany does a sexy dance (because I'm all loosened up from the crack)

4. [your name] hates:
Tiffany hates golf. (that's true. I do hate golf)

5. [your name] goes:
Tiffany goes fishing with Frank Gehry.

6. [your name] loves:
Tiffany loves to be held like a baby, be kissed on the neck and only the neck, rapped up in her baby blanket, deflea her baby dolls (like a good little Mommie would), go through the drive thru at Burger King, bark like a full size Doberman Pincher, hunt bugs, smack frogs, tan in the sun, be over dramatic, wrap her Granddaddy around her little paw, wrap her Daddy around her little paw, eat dried earthworms, and ride in the Drivers seat (boat & car), and of course take warm/hot baths. (that's about a dog, just so we're clear)

7. [your name] eats:
Tiffany eats something she likes, identifies the ingredients and then creates her own version of it.

8. [your name] has:
Tiffany has raised money from investors within the venture capital community to implement her life's passions into self-sustaining companies that have a philanthropic focus.

9. [your name] won't:
Tiffany won't be my friend anymore!

10. [your name] can't:
Tiffany can't take the heat.

11. [your name] wants:
Tiffany wants to be a witch.

12. [your name] makes:
Tiffany makes low score. (I somehow doubt that, unless it's math)

13. [your name] killed:
Tiffany killed the prom queen. (I wouldn't put it past me)