RevGals Heavenly Friday Five

This Week's Friday Five from Singing Owl.

What is your idea of a heavenly (i.e. wonderful and perfect):

1. Family get-together

A heavenly get-together is when I get to try out new recipes for fancy food. We go to the store, get the stuff, and everyone gets out of my way and I have the kitchen to myself. A masterpiece emerges and I am greeted with appropriate reverence. Dinner is served, compliments are lavished upon me, and someone else cleans up while I play with the babies.

2. Song or musical piece

This is a tough one for me as a musician who loves many genres of music. My favorite piece of choral music is Brahms' Requiem and it is transcendent. For me, heavenly music is the exact right piece at the exact right moment - it could be Def Leppard or Fanny Crosby, but never Yanni.

3. Gift

A good book, a day at the spa, iTunes gift cards.

4. You choose whatever you like-food, pair of shoes, vacation, house, or something else. Just tell us what it is and what a heavenly version of it would be.

Chicken tikka masala from Naan & Curry that was still made entirely of heavy cream, but that didn't make me fat. Any Christian Laboutin shoe that didn't cost more than my car. A house on the beach in Mendocino - no need to improve on that.

5. And for a serious moment, or what would you like your entrance into the next life to be like? What, from your vantage point now, would make Heaven "heavenly?"

Warmth, love, family, and an eternity of the aforementioned chicken tikka masala.

End of strike happy dance

I haven't yet commented here on my elation at the end of the writers' strike, but suffice it to say, I'm stoked. The TV landscape was becoming more bleak by the moment, and while I tried to get into new series that debuted, I didn't watch any of them and have cleared the DVR of their electronic carcases. The one show I did watch all of was Lost - start to finish - and I am now officially caught up and into season 4 and I must say, it's good TV. It's not just folks on an island. It's creepy folks on an island, with polar bears and a monster. And Josh Holloway shirtless. Have I mentioned? HOT.

One of the best things about the end of the strike is that the Oscars will go on. I heart the Oscars. That and the Golden Globes are the only shows I watch and this year's press conference for the Globes was not fun. Unfortunately, I will not be able to watch them live as I will be gone this weekend, but I will be watching them Monday immediately upon my return, so DON'T SAY ANYTHING!

Finally, ABC (which is where most of my favorite shows live) has announced the return dates of my shows. They all come back (with a handful of episodes to finish off the season) beginning just in time for my birthday. Coincidence? I think not.

Lenten Listening

This season's Lenten practice has been an interesting one for me. Really, all I've done is read daily (so far) through Small Surrenders by Emilie Griffin and maybe skip an event or two that doesn't seem Lent-appropriate, but that's it. No great sacrifice, no giving up, no fasting. Not surprisingly, I am more centered and focused in all areas of my life, particularly work and friendships. The people-orientation shift is still moving along nicely. I'm darn near pleasant most of the time. The thing that has been most drastically different is the way I am communicating with God. We seem to be having real-time dialogs and I am finding it easy to distinguish God's voice from the voice in my head. It's been interesting. God's told me not to do some things that I'd wanted to do, which bums me out but I know it's for the best.

We had a conversation the other day about something that I'm really not into that I think God wants me to be open to. It wasn't a big emotional, mystical event at all. It was God saying, I want you to be open to this, me saying I'd rather not and here's why, God saying, just trust me, etc. Then that day we had a concert in the lobby at work - another conversation - but it was good and the girl sang a song that was VERBATIM what God was asking of me. I rolled my eyes, said, yeah, you're hilarious, and went back to work. It's an interesting time.

The Damned 123 Book Meme

I'm usually a meme person but this one has been so ubiquitous that it's downright annoying. However, Leslie tagged me, and I love her, but I refuse to tag anyone else in hopes that it will go away that much sooner.

1) Grab the nearest book of 123 pages or more.
2) Open it to page 123.
3) Find the first 5 sentences and write them down.
4) Invite five friends to do the same.

So here's my contribution to this meme.

"With the thought of his wife, guilty regret swept over him. What a wedding present he had given her. Did his daughter know? He couldn't bear it if his daughter knew. But perhaps that's why she had grown distant, helping him only as far as mean duty demanded."

From People of the Book by Geraldine Brooks.

That's what you're getting. Syphillis. That's right. He's dying of tertiary syphillis. Meme that.

Friday Five: Water and Word

Rev HRod over at Revgals writes:

In this Sunday's gospel Nicodemus asks Jesus, "How can anyone be born after having grown old? Can one enter a second time into the mother's womb and be born?" Poor old Nicodemus! He was so confused about the whole "water and Spirit" business of baptism.
For today's five, tell us about your baptismal experiences.

1. When and where were you baptized? Do you remember it? Know any interesting tidbits?
I was baptized on September 5, 1977. It was a baptist church and we had baptisms every service. It was also a live telecast (local) so it was on TV. We had a choir of about 250 and at the beginning of the baptismal time, they would sing the verse of "Lo, in the grave He lay." Then when all the baptisms were done, they sang the chorus of the same hymn, "Up from the grave He arose!" I was 5 at the time and first on the alphabetical list that Sunday evening. There were bathroom/changing rooms for each gender on either side of the baptistry. My mom was up there with me and they put me in the white shirt and shorts, and I think I might have had a bathing suit on underneath. When I got up there, the pastor started going on about how my family was all involved in the church, my dad was a deacon and my mom was in the music ministry, etc. I was so embarrassed. I just wanted him to shut up and dunk me.

2. What's the most unexpected thing you've ever witnessed at a baptism?
A couple of near-chokings b/c people didn't bend their knees.

3. Does your congregation have any special traditions surrounding baptisms?
We have this ridiculously cheesy song that they make me do when we baptize infants - "You Will Always Be A Child in My Eyes." The parents love it, but it's pretty awful.

4. Are you a godparent or baptismal sponsor? Have a story to tell?
Not yet.

5. Do you have a favorite baptismal song or hymn?
I like "I Will Never Be" from Hillsongs

I will never be the same again
I can never return, I've closed the door
I will walk the path, I will run the race
And I will never be the same again

Fall like fire, soak like rain
Flow like mighty waters again and again
Sweep away the darkness, burn away the chaff
And let a flame burn to glorify Your name

There are higher heights, there are deeper seas
Whatever you need to do, Lord, do it in me
The glory of God fills my life
And I will never be the same again

Wardrobe Malfunction

For my sesquicentennial post, I bring to you a tale of emerald green, defective ruching, and mass transit.

Today, I wore, the above top for the first time. Super cute, super comfortable, and I even had green and white gingham flats to match. Put it all together with a smart pair of trouser jeans and I was ready for another day downtown. Fast forward to the gym. I went to the Chisel class - loved it - cleaned up and was getting dressed to go back to work when.....rrrrrrrrrrrrrip! The ruching on the right side ripped apart and there was a huge hole in my previously cute sweater. As you can see, the ruching is in a particularly unfortunate place for being ripped and I couldn't walk around like that. What's a girl to do?

Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your point of view), the sweater came from our KK Main Brand, so I called the nearest store @ E3 to see if they had it in stock. They did not. Mild panic. Then I called Giant Flagship. They did indeed have it. Good times, but I had to use the MUNI to get there. I ran down to the corner, hopped on the N and jetted to the Powell Street station. Ran in, explained my predicament, made the exchange and changed in the fitting room in 5 minutes. Got back on the MUNI and headed back to work, all sewn up and fabulous.

So, kids, what have we learned from today's story? A ruch in time saves nine.

Whoops

Accidentally did a little shopping today. In my defense, I didn't previously own square-toed, low-heeled pumps in patent leather aubergine.

Friday Five: What Are You Doing for Lent?

1. Did you celebrate Mardi Gras and/or Ash Wednesday this week? How?

I did. Since we share our church facilities and don't have access to them on Wednesdays, we had home gatherings around the city. One was at my house and we read some poetry, did a Lectio Divina reading of Psalm 51 and did the ashes thing. I also had pancakes for dinner on Tuesday.

2. What was your most memorable Mardi Gras/Ash Wednesday/Lent?

Probably the first time I went to a Catholic Mass on Ash Wednesday - it was a rich experience.

3. Did you/your church/your family celebrate Lent as a child? If not, when and how did you discover it?

We did not. I learned about it in college, but didn't start observing it until I was in seminary.

4. Are you more in the give-up camp, or the take-on camp, or somewhere in between?

Depends on the year. I've done both, but this year I'm in the middle.

5. How do you plan to keep Lent this year?

I'm trying to bring a more contemplative focus to my daily life by incorporating the practice of devotional reading in the morning. I'm also attending or not attending events based on how they'll contribute to my state of mind during this time.

City-fied and Fabulous!

We have nearly come to the end of my first week of being a true city girl - living AND working in the city, commuting on the N Judah, no less. There is nothing more San Franciscan than the N - jostling, diverse, and sometimes a bit smelly. Is it too soon to say that I LOVE it? The N picks up half a block in front of my house and drops me off right in front of my building on the Embarcadero & Folsom. My car is getting a much-needed break after rolling over 100,000 miles last week.

Our offices face the water and have a view of the bay, the arrow and the Bay Bridge - fabulous. The cafe is on the 7th floor and there is outdoor seating on the roof. I can walk across the street to the Ferry Building or down Spear if I want other culinary choices. All the benefits of downtown without the stifling feeling of being surrounded by skyscrapers in the Financial District.

I've joined the gym across the street, with a great corporate plan, gorgeous facilities and friendly staff for a mere $8/month more than what I was paying before. I went to a yoga class there yesterday and I liked it but the instructor will no longer be teaching there as of next week. He's leaving to manage another yoga studo and to more actively pursue his side career as a drag entertainer. Only here. And that's why I love it.

Pray for Dieter Zander

For those of you who are of the praying persuasion, I would ask for prayer for a friend and seminary professor, Dieter Zander. Dieter is the Pastor of Arts and Spiritual Formation at Bay Marin Church in San Rafael, CA. Last night, Dieter suffered a stroke and had emergency surgery this morning. The surgery was successful and he is in a medically-induced coma to aid the healing process. The next 24 hours are critical. He is in his mid-40s, is married to the brilliant Val and has three teenage sons. Please pray for their family.

I first encountered Dieter back in 1994 at my first Willow Creek Leadership Conference where he was the music director of their burgeoning Axis ministry. Little did I know that he would become my teacher and friend. After I moved to San Francisco, I was in a discussion group with him at a missions conference, but was too star struck to talk to him. He later re-located to the Bay Area and began teaching Worship studies as an adjunct professor when I was a student there. I ended up working quite a bit with him and over the years he's invited me to sing with him in various worship settings. He's a brilliant thinker and probably the most talented musician I've ever known in real life. Just Google him.

There will be two prayer vigils held for him tonight - one in San Francisco at 5:00 at the home of a friend and one at Bay Marin Church tonight at 7:30. If you cannot join in body please join in spirit.

UPDATE: Bay Marin has set up a blog for updates of Dieter's condition here - please use this and ONLY this for your information, as there is some misinformation floating around out there.

Becoming Human

You know how I go off on these rants on "those" people who tick me off? (just scroll down a couple of posts). Well, they're all still wrong, and they all still tick me off, but I will concede that the reason that I get riled up is that something is going on internally and I'm trying to process it and my first instinct is to point out the speck in my neighbor's eye. Fair enough.

I've been thinking and discussing with friends lately about my lack of patience with theoretical theological discourse and trying to figure out where that comes from because it used to be something I was really into. Part of it is certainly a life stage difference, because I was in seminary and we would read Tillich, and Barth, and Volf, and Moltmann, and all these important thinkers and discuss them ad nauseam until the worlds problems were solved and we could sleep peacefully knowing we had it all figured out. Or not. But at least we read the books and talked about them.

Nowadays, if someone wants to start up that kind of conversation, it's hard for me to orient myself to what planet they might be on and I pretty much just want to throw things at them. I was with a group of folks at a wine bar an one dude busted out with, "So, do you think Moltmann is a Universalist?" WTF? Anyway, what I'm saying is not that these thinkers and their thoughts are unimportant, but that they are not part of my journey right now.

My journey is taking a decidedly foreign direction that most of you out there call "feelings." I can only describe what's going on now as an integration of my cognitive and emotional selves, which have long been separate. I've worked on this for years, and now it's starting to really happen. Periodically, there is this wet, salty discharge that spews from my eyes - does anyone know what that's about? Kidding. Sort of.

I think when I express my frustration with the theoretical and speak in favor of the actual, is that I'm realizing that for me now is the time to get out of the books and deal with the people. I want to hear there stories now, not that I didn't before, but that I'd rather hear them now than do other things, which isn't the norm for me, Queen Introvert. While I'm swinging way the opposite of where I've always been, I think it will lead me to a more balanced approach in the end.

How about a hug?

Ode to the King Cake

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my thighs can reach!

I love the King Cake. For some reason, we keep getting them sent to our office. I know the seasonal reason, I just don't know the personal reason. No one in our office is particularly Cajun, but whatever. We have King Cakes. We've had 3 sent to us in the last two weeks from here and here. Wow. They are just amazing. I've had them before, but they're better this time. Perhaps it's b/c I'm on WW and have to control myself. I haven't gotten the baby, don't want the baby, just want the cake. Mmmm....cake.

What I Need

What I think I need to do:

• build furniture
• organize
• plan
• work
• eat ice cream
  
• do
• move

What I actually need to do:

• pray
• breathe
• be still
  
• eat ice cream
• feel
• learn
  

Transformation

I have fabulous friends. I get to hang out with people I've known for a while and some whom I've not known long and get to talk about life and stories and where they are and how they process information and it's just fascinating. I had one such conversation today with AZ. She's an absolutely brilliant, luminous person and she's pursuing a Master's Degree in poetry. Or something like that. I just call it Poetry School. She's doing great at it and is really exploring who she is through this experience and I am in awe of her bravery. Today we hung out for a while and got to talking about church and theology stuff and we are feeling the same way when it comes to sitting around and bandying about theoreticals. We really prefer real life to make-believe these days. Part of our conversation in particular dealt with the phenomenon of formation and transformation.

I have become more of a primitivist as time has gone on. I'm sure that will change, but that's where I am right now. I feel like the best way to be spiritually formed, as individuals and as communities is to function the most Trinitarian way possible, as Jesus modeled. We listen to God the Father (or Creator, as you prefer), and carry out God's will by the power of the Holy Spirit as we live lives of incarnational presence. We can learn how to do that from studying scripture. Kind of sums it up for me. Gathering with people of like mind is encouraging, but doesn't accomplish anything with regard transformation. We are transformed, according to Jung, by encountering the other. If our churches continue to be shrines to homogeneaity, then no one will be changed, they'll just feel warm and fuzzy inside. We have to work to go outside of what is comfortable in our communities and in ourselves and really see what God sees and do what Jesus did.

I'm preparing a sermon on Jesus as the Learning Teacher, so you can imagine my surprise and delight when I came across this quote from The Gospel of Jesus at Yearning for God:

"Jesus came to grips with the basic intentions of people. He addressed them personally, as to what kind of people they were. He called on them--he did not just teach them ideas. When we take his sayings and distill from them our doctrines, what we have really done is manipulate his sayings for our own purposes, first of all, for the purpose of avoiding his personal address to us. Without realizing it, we reclassify his sayings as objective teachings to which we can give intellectual assent, rather than letting them strike home as the personal challenge he intended them to be. The issue is not what we think about them, but rather what we do about them" (xiv).

Yeah...what he said.

Writer's Strike Alternative - Tyranny Episode 2

Writer's Strike Alternative - Tyranny Episode 1

I went to high school with the writer/director. Insanely hot and an interesting film maker. Well done, JBH!

Why Bruce Reyes-Chow should be the PC(USA) Moderator

I apologize for being late to the endorsing party, but please know that my tardiness does not diminish the importance of his campaign. I don't know any of the other folks whose hats are in the rings, so this is not a statement against their candidacies, but merely for Bruce's.

I work with Bruce currently on the staff at Mission Bay Community Church and I can say without hesitation that is the most positive church staff experience I have had to date. We are a motley crew, to be sure, but we are a team of Jesus-followers, living life together in San Francisco. I have to say, I don't know much about the PC(USA) polity or process, as this is where I have currently landed on my whistle stop tour of Protestant denominations. I don't know that I will leave or that I will stay, but I do know that the PC(USA) will be better for having Bruce as their Moderator.

First, Bruce is a person of great integrity. I don't just mean that in a I-chopped-down-the-cherry-tree kind of way, but that when he says he wants something for our community, it happens. And if it doesn't, there is an explanation as to why. He is that rare combination of being a idea person and an implementing person. I've been in other church settings where there will be a phase of lofty vision casting and then six months later, everyone wonders what happened to all that. There is creative thinking, vision, practical application, and follow-up. Who doesn't need that in their life?

Second, Bruce LOVES this denomination. He believes in it and is committed to his belief that the larger organization has the power to effect real positive change and to make a difference in the world. He not only loves it, but he respects it. He adheres respectfully to the structure and organization and challenges interpretations appropriately while always respecting its history and value. I believe he has the right perspective to carry the PC(USA) into the future.

Finally, Bruce LOVES the Gospel. He is a Christ-follower to the core. This doesn't mean he's dogmatic and legalistic. Rather, he is always striving to communicate the message of Christ in the Spirit of Christ. He does things in a way that is relevant to our context without diluting the veracity of the message. It's a fine line to walk, and I think he does it brilliantly.

So there it is, all you PC(USA)ers. Come this summer in San Jose, Bruce is your guy. I hope you vote him in as Moderator because he is exactly what is needed in this time and place.

Branding Church (TM)

If I may, for a moment, speak a word about how I'm feeling about the current leadership of various movements, with the disclaimer that these are merely my opinions, and nothing more.

I think that the whole "emergent" thing, as far as a movement or a call to change or whatever is pretty much done as far as being interesting and is now merely just a way to go. I identify with it the most of anything else out there, especially when I see people like Mark Driscoll - egads. (I only mentioned his name here because that way this post will show up when he Googles himself every morning, because by the look and sound of him, trust me - he does).

Basically, I'm sick of the conversations that are merely ideological pissing contests. I think there's a place for theological discourse - absolutely - but only insofar as it has practical application. The world's situation is far too urgent. I have a personal theology, probably even in the form of an actual statement that I had to write in seminary, and it informs everything I do. It's always expanding and developing, but my need to sit around and talk about it is diminishing. I don't care what books you're reading or who you can quote. It's a little like when Rick Warren bragged about how many millionaires he'd show The Passion of the Christ in the name of being "culturally relevant." Who bloody cares?*

The thing that has probably soured me most is the industry that all of this God-talk has become. There's a 3-day conference in Pasadena that Mosaic Alliance is doing (because Mosaic Church is now a brand). It's called Awaken2008 and it promises to be more than a conference. For a $349 early bird registration fee, I hope it's a conference, a floor wax, AND a dessert topping. It features the brightest stars the current constellation of leadership, all promising to allow us to journey into their imaginations. For $349. Early bird. And wouldn't you know it if they didn't have books to sell also. Huh. I feel the same way about Emergent. Sorry guys - and it is mostly guys - but you've become the people you warned us about. Your lives are about schilling your latest product and putting arses in seats at your latest events. Might be a slightly different message than your predecessors but the result is the same.

I get it. You have to keep your name out there, your product out there, appear in the right places, get the right endorsements, comment on the right blogs, etc., because you have to generate income. It's also quite an ego boost to be on that ride, I'm sure. For me, your stock goes down when self-promotion becomes the hamster wheel in which you breathlessly run. At that point, you're no different than Paris Hilton (or Perez Hilton, for that matter) or anyone else who is trying to turn their very identity into a brand.

*This is pre-AIDS/poverty awareness Warren. His stock has gone up since then - this was just a colossally stupid thing that he said in Christianity Today that will haunt him b/c he's a public figure. Sorry, Rick.

Winter Friday Five

Brrrr! Baby, it’s COLD outside! Have a cup of hot tea and tackle five easy seasonal questions.

1. What is the thermometer reading at your house this morning?

I think it was in the 40s but raining non-stop for days

2. Snow—love it or hate it?

It's ok to visit it but I don't like to live in it.

3. What is winter like where you are?

It's pretty much like the rest of the year. Only a little cooler. I'm in San Francisco.

4. Do you like winter sports? Any good stories?

Not so much. I have skied three times, but each time has gotten progressively worse. I do not do so well with the physical coordination. The last time was 15 years ago and I rolled down the side of the hill and looked something like a Bugs Bunny cartoon where you roll down a hill and the snow accumulates in a big ball. Yeah. That was me. These days I still a little closer to the hot cocoa.

5. What is your favorite season, and why?

Autumn. I love the colors, the foods, football and Thanksgiving.

Bonus: Share a favorite winter pick-me-up. A recipe, an activity, or whatever.

My year-round pick-up solution is a spa day.

Is "behindedness" a word?

Well, it is now. I'm feeling completely overwhelmed by my own global behindedness. Here's the deal: I have this. I don't really like to talk about it, nor do I really need a "take care of yourself" speech. It's fine, I live with it, but sometimes it makes me just have to lie down and I really don't have a choice in the matter. Monday and Tuesday of this week, I had to lie down. I lost two days and all I accomplished was developing an addiction to Lost, which I'd never watched before, but now all three seasons are streaming on abc.com, so I got into it. All that to say, I'm behind.

I looked at the preaching calendar on Thursday - hi there. I'm preaching on February 10th. That's in two weeks. I know, I know - I was at the meeting. But I knew I was preaching on the first Sunday of something, I just thought it was "March." Turns out, it was "Lent." Yikes. Next weekend is our worship team retreat, but fortunately, that's a lot of conversation and not a lot of prep is necessary.

Work is crazy. Not bad, just a lot. The office move is next week and we're all getting ready, but the work hasn't stopped and so it's non-stop. Losing two days of course doesn't help.

My house also needs some serious attention. I have un-built Ikea furniture, paperwork that needs to be filed, a ballot to fill out, cleaning to do and episodes of Lost to watch. This weekend will be all about the recuperating, cleaning, nesting and organizing. I'll be fine.

How privileged were you?

I found this over at Yearning for God.

From What Privileges Do You Have?, based on an exercise about class and privilege developed by Will Barratt, Meagan Cahill, Angie Carlen, Minnette Huck, Drew Lurker, Stacy Ploskonka at Illinois State University. If you participate in this blog game, they ask that you PLEASE acknowledge their copyright.

Bold the true statements.

1. Father went to college.

2. Father finished college.

3. Mother went to college.

4. Mother finished college.

5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor.

6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers.

7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home.

8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home.

9. Were read children's books by a parent.

10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18.

11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18.

12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively.

13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18.

14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs.

15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs.

16. Went to a private high school.

17. Went to summer camp.

18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18.

19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels.

20. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18.

21. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them.

22. There was original art in your house when you were a child [kid's work is original!]

23. You and your family lived in a single-family house.

24. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home.

25. You had your own room as a child.

26. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18.

27. Participated in a SAT/ACT prep course.

28. Had your own TV in your room in high school.

29. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in high school or college.

30. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16.

31. Went on a cruise with your family.

32. Went on more than one cruise with your family.

33. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up.

34. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family.

Friday Five - Read Any Good Books Lately?

1. What book have you read in the last six months that has really stayed with you? Why?

I've read a lot of books in the last 6 months, fiction and non, and the ones that have stayed with me the most are A Thousand Splendid Suns and Last Night at the Lobster. I was moved, horrified and exulted at Suns depiction of pre-, mid- and post-Taliban Afghanistan. I loved The Kite Runner, but I loved this book more, probably because it was from the women's point of view. The conditions under which these women subsisted is astonishing and that it went on so long without intervention is something for which we can all feel ashamed. It does have a compassionately triumphant conclusion that made me believe in the power of the individual to make a difference despite insurmountable obstacles.

Last Night at the Lobster is the latest of Stewart O'Nan's novels about the lives of a crew of employees at a New England Red Lobster that is being closed down. The story, told from the point of view of Manny, the conscientious manager, is a character-driven yarn spun out over the last night the restaurant is open, a Friday in December 2005. It's well-written, touching and real.

2. What is one of your favorite childhood books?

The Phantom Tollbooth, Island of the Blue Dolphins, The Little House Books, A Little Princess, The Secret Garden, Nancy Drew books, Chronicles of Narnia (I was a big reader then, too)

3. Do you have a favorite book of the Bible? Do tell!

I like James because of the frankness, The Gospel of Matthew because of the Sermon on the Mount, and Ruth because of the picture of redemption.

4. What is one book you could read again and again?

Celebration of Disciplines by Richard Foster

5. Is there a book you would suggest for Lenten reading? What is it and why?

I'd say anything on spiritual practices is good for Lent, because it's a time of preparation, and spiritual practices are all about training, rather than trying. Anything by Henri Nouwen, Dallas Willard, St. Teresa of Avila, Eugene Peterson or Emilie Griffin would be perfect (said the girl raised SBC and who knows little about Lent).

And because we all love bonus questions, if you were going to publish a book what would it be? Who would you want to write the jacket cover blurb expounding on your talent?

I've always said that if I were to write a book it would be called Christians Are Socially Handicapped, the subtitle being "If we can't convert you or marry you, we don't know how to act," because I'm all about the subtlety.

The jacket cover blurb would have to be written by my boss, since he's a closet reader of my blog and thinks I'm brilliant :-)

Palm Reading

For the first time ever, I had my palms read. Please don't write to me about how evil and demonic it is. It was for entertainment purposes and curiosity.

A woman at work, R, is from India and her family has read palms for generations. Her grandfather made a lot of money off the British colonials telling them the stories in their hands. She only does it for fun and doesn't expect anyone to take it too seriously. She and I really don't know each other very well b/c we don't work together so anything she says will be purely from my hands.

The first thing she said was that family is very important to me, but that it wasn't always. There was a time I didn't care, but now I do, very much. That was dead on. She saw that I live some distance from them, but we're still close. She saw that I will do a lot of traveling, that I've done some, but I'll do a lot more. She also saw that I will have a lot of career success and good health until I'm about 60 or 65 but then I'll have some health issues. I told her she could tell me the bad stuff, but she said she only says what she sees and she doesn't see anything bad.

The best, however, was my "other half." I had no idea what she was talking about. She said the man in my life is very intelligent, very spiritual and we are extremely compatible and have great chemistry. I said, "What man?" She said it was clear there was someone in my life like that, and I assured here there is not. Well, then you'll meet him very soon, she says. She said she also sees 2 children. I asked if that was my niece and nephew and she said no, they are definitely mine. I asked her what she thinks the time table is, and she said I should be married with the two children by the time I'm 32. Whoops.

The Yoga Elf

This past Sunday evening, I received a welcome last-minute invitation to a restorative yoga class. Since I am on a quest to be more devotional about my schedule, I thought that would be a great way to ease out of the weekend and in to the upcoming week, so I went. Overall, it was pleasant and relaxing and accomplished its purpose, but we all know that nothing passes by me without a little commentary, so here it is.

The gentleman leading the class was diminuative. Now, when I say that, please understand that I say that as a person who is 5'2", and always the shortest person in the group, and I towered over this dude. He was a sinewy little hairless creature who moved across the pergo floor with soundless, darting motions. I was stationed near the source of music, which was basically chanting with a sort of barbershop quality, ending with a do-sol-mi-do finish down to the basement, a la the Sha-Na-Na guy.

At one point during a reclining backbend, I sensed a presence and rightly assumed that Yoga Elf was standing over me, sort of straddling my head. Faced with the option of opening my eyes and confirming or not, I chose not, as to avoid possibly catching a glimpse of Yoga Elf's special place. He bent down and rubbed my temples with what I believe was eucalyptus oil, which was fine, but this was my first time there and he didn't ask. There is no unauthorized touching.

At the end of the class there was some "Om"ing and then came the wish for the "freedom and happiness" of all living beings. Now, I can't think of a more shallow, bothersome pair of circumstances to wish on anyone. It took me completely out of my relaxation mode and it took all of my efforts to not invite him into a semantic conversation. But, he was there to stretch my body and not my brain, which is where I spend too much time anyway, so I'll just stick to the breathing and leave Yoga Elf alone.

Still Heart Huckabee?

Here's a scary as hell article from the editor of the Arkansas Times about Huckabee's tenure as Arkansas govenor. Yikes.

Cracking Myself Up

Tonight we had our staff meeting to talk sermon series and preaching schedules. We are a pretty hilarious bunch and we crack each other and ourselves up on a regular basis. However, I crack myself up more than most. After we'd set the schedule, we noted that I am preaching on May 11th, which is not only Mother's Day, but also Pentecost. My proposed title: Your Mother is on Fire. I am hilarious.

I miss yoga

Today I went to both pilates and yoga classes, and I have to say that I miss yoga more than I imagined possible. I love pilates as exercise and it has a focused element that I enjoy, but today my yoga class was exactly what I needed.

I entered the class and sat down and as I closed my eyes and started breathing a mantra sprang from my heart and into my head and I began repeating in my head, "Jesus Christ be present in my heart." It wasn't anything I tried to think of or chose carefully - it insinuated itself into my consciousness and I kept repeating it. I was very present and focused in the class and by the time we got to Shavasana I was completely relaxed and centered.

I realize now that if I'm going to work toward being more contemplative with my schedule I'm going to need to incorporate a regular yoga practice. Since this class is at work and I'm moving offices next month, I only have 3 classes left. I must figure something out that won't break my budget. Please help.

Voice of the Day

Too often I looked at being relevant, popular, and powerful as ingredients of an effective ministry. The truth, however, is that these are not vocations but temptations. Jesus asks, "Do you love me?" Jesus sends us out to be shephers, and Jesus promises a life in which we increasingly have to stretch out our hands and be led to places where we would rather not go. He asks us to move from a concern for relevance to a life of prayer, from worries about popularity to communal and mutual ministry, and from a leadership built on power to a leadership in which we critically discern where God is leading us and our people.

- Henri Nouwen
In the Name of Jesus

My Prayer for the New Year

This year it is truly my desire to be entirely devotional with my schedule. With that I pray comes a generosity that will prevent me from greedily gobbling at all new opportunities in favor of graciously allowing those who are more gifted than I to serve.

My Political Candidate Match for 2008

91% John Edwards
89% Barack Obama
88% Hillary Clinton
88% Chris Dodd
79% Joe Biden
77% Bill Richardson
70% Dennis Kucinich
66% Mike Gravel
53% John McCain
52% Rudy Giuliani
38% Mike Huckabee
36% Mitt Romney
32% Tom Tancredo
25% Fred Thompson
17% Ron Paul

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

It's over the ocean to Scranton, Pennsylvania?

I have managed to score a rare classic on the DVR and that is the original 1980 film The In-Laws with Alan Arkin and Peter Falk. I will not even discuss the recent re-make - there is no reason for it. The original film is one of the funniest of all time and one that my parents and I still quote with great regularity. It is completely politically incorrect, dry and absurd, but so, so fabulous. I give you the clip below that only barely captures some of its wittiness. Enjoy.

On Audiobooks

I enjoy listening to a good book. I can lie back, close my eyes, and envelope myself in setting and make friends with the characters. I particularly like the audio book for the road trip or commute. In that situation there is less eye-closing and more mental engagement that makes the minutes sitting on 280 just fly by.

On my recent holiday road trip I listened to Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns. I thought I'd loved The Kite Runner. Wow. I liked this one better, I think, but they're both brilliant. I love listening to this story unravel as the miles flew by. After that, I started Ian McEwan's Atonement. It's a completely different story, but has a similar theme of a character being at the mercy of their cultural and political surroundings. It's been made into a film and is currently in theaters. I wanted to read it before I saw the film, and I have to say that there is a LOT there and it will be interesting to see how they pull that off.

When I'm in these phases of listening to the books, I become a little like Will Farrell's character in Stranger than Fiction. I hear narration in my head as I go about my day. I describe surroundings, use metaphor, imagine back stories of strangers, etc. The voice is female and has a British accent - a posh London one, specifically. I'm not saying it's normal - I'm saying it's what happens.

Easing into 2008

One of the things I've noticed about myself is that I am abrupt, in the sense that I don't tend to make smooth transitions. This is in conversation, in work, in relationships, in seasons. I function as though one thing stops and another thing picks up and starts with no overlap. I think this is due to a few factors, namely that my brain moves fairly quickly and I'm trying to catch up, that I'm an introvert and in my head a lot so it's always a jarring realization that I'm the only one in there and other people don't get where I'm going. It's as though I metaphorically walk with my head down, watching my feet, and am not fully engaged with the outside world.

An interesting thing is occurring in me, however, as time marches on (and, as Dolly Parton says, marches across my face) and things are relaxing and smoothing out for me. The brain is probably slowing down. I am working at looking up more. As I described to my Spiritual Director in our last meeting, I'm learning about the external component of spiritual formation as lived out in a very community-oriented church.

One of the things I noticed this year is that I was not so abrupt with my celebration of Christmas. Usually, the Christmas music doesn't come on until 2 days after Thanksgiving (b/c of our family observance on Friday) and it goes off on December 26th. This year, I could not stop listening to it. I'm sure it's partly because I have impeccable taste in music, and I have a great mix on the (new - Merry Christmas to me!) iPod. I listened to it all the way through the New Year, and it didn't feel wrong at all. I wanted to draw it out and relax into the new season.

I've also been tolerant of other people's prolonged observance. Tolerant, I am not. This is not one of my words in the "Describe Me" application on Facebook. The "demure" word is a joke. In fact, I get really annoyed with the whole "how were your holidays" and "happy new year" that we're socially obligated to roll out when you see someone for the first time the whole month of January. Get over it. Move on. Do your taxes. Not so this year. I'm sure a great deal of it has to do with the presence of the babies - they make the holidays so delightful and make you want to draw it out for a while longer. That, and I just want to know more about people's lives. Seriously. This must be that "caring" I've heard so much about. Kidding.

One of the things I've only sort of "resolved" about this new year is to be more contemplative and devotional about my schedule. I feel a bit like I careened out of 2007 and slammed into 2008 in a way reminiscent of the scene in the first Mission Impossible movie with Tom Cruise flying off the top of that exploding train. Of course, at the onset of the New Year I was immediately presented with an extremely tempting ministerial educational opportunity, but chose to decline it because I would much rather devote my energy to doing my current activities well rather than doing more things poorly.

All that to say, here's to a calmer, more relaxed and compassionate (especially to myself) New Year. 2008 is here, people - let's take a nap!

Obama Wins in Iowa

picture courtesy of The Atlantic

A Day With the Babies

Today I had the great privilege of watching the babies so Todd & Lisa could go out for a while. We went to the park, had a picnic in the back yard, watched and acted out Cinderella, and just generally had a good time. One of the most fun things was watching Ian take his first series of multiple steps. He's been inches from walking for about a week now. The funny thing is that he'll be sitting down and then just stand up, but then he starts to congratulate himself with vigorous applause and knocks himself down before he can take a step. Sometimes he'll shuffle one foot forward, but that's about it. This time he stood there, bouncing up and down to a music video that was on, and then took about 5 steps and then dropped down. Very exciting.

That was, however, not the best thing. The best thing happened when Chloe and I were watching Cinderella and Ian was playing with his new basketball hoop. Without provocation, he monkey crawled over to me, climbed up my arm, and gave me a kiss and then just cuddled up for a hug. So cute! I think we've officially bonded. This visit has also seen a definite shift in my relationship with Chloe as well. Most of the time she wants to be with my mom and she includes me to a point. This time she's seeking me out and really into hanging out with me, which is great fun. The auntie gig is truly the way to go.

Bootylicious

Interior: We open on Chloe and Auntie Tiffy shopping at our local Fry's, picking up a few things to get us ready for our baking day. Chloe notices that I'm wearing a sweatshirt around my waist, points to it quizzically and asks,

Chloe: Auntie Tiffy, why are you wearing that there?

Me: To cover up my big bootie

Chloe tilts her head and thoughtfully considers my bootie, as it is eye-level for her. After a pause, she says:

Chloe: It's not SO big. At least it's not way out there (at this, she bends forward at the waist, extending her arms behind her, palms up.)

Me: Thanks, sweetie. You can sit by me.

Merry Fabulous

My obsession with shoes is well-documented and needs no further development. I give you my red Christmas shoes that worked the party circuit with me this year. While I would never preach in them, their fabulousness is of biblical proportion, n'est pas?

Winding Down

It's a chilly winter morning and I'm getting ready for the road trip home. I've completed my last day of work at the KK for 2007, and what a day it was. More on that in a moment. Tomorrow marks the annual road trip home. I drive every year b/c dad does maintenance stuff on my car. His preference is that no one touches it - ever - because auto maintenance is his love language. He's a bit concerned this year b/c I have a power steering fluid leak happening right now and he's afraid the whole thing will bust out on the road. That would suck, so here's hoping that doesn't happen. The sucky thing is that I have to drive it straight through after church on Sunday, so that will put me there about 3 AM on Christmas Eve. Awesome.

We do our Christmas on Christmas Eve, and have the great tradition of attending an early service, home for a supper of chili and tamales, a birthday cake for Jesus, and then gifts. Dad grew up opening gifts on Christmas Eve and is unable to open gifts in daylight. He feels it's wrong somehow and I'm inclined to agree. Then on Christmas Day, we pretty much do nothing. I got to a movie, usually, b/c a lot of stuff is released that day. This year, I'm feeling Charlie Wilson's War.

I'm very excited for New Years' Eve. I usually don't do much, because I think it's a crap holiday, but this year I'm going to be in San Diego with a dear college friend whom I've not seen in about 7 years. She lives in Alabama, but will be out west visiting family so I'm going to drive up on the 31st and spend the night with her there and then mosey on back to the Bay Area on the 1st. Then, it's back to work on the 2nd...

Work. We received some news yesterday at the KK that our department would be relocating from down the peninsula to the main offices in downtown SF. Obviously, that's brilliant for me. I have a ton of friends from my neighborhood who work down there and we can commute together, work out at lunch together, hang out after work - it's all good. The vibe down there is a lot of fun, high energy, lots to do, very cool. However, this was not good news for a lot of folks there and the day was filled with drama and emotion. Many of my co-workers live near work or farther south and this will add hours to their daily commute, not to mention the child care issues involved. The leadership has said that they will be creative and flexible in addressing people's needs and I believe that they will. My personal challenge is to let people be angry about it in the short term and not go on about how good it is for me so as to appear that I'm minimizing their legitimate complaints. They've set the move for the end of January.

When I get home, there will be family stuff to do, friends to see, dinners to attend. Mom is having surgery on her hand, and I'll be taking care of her as well, but before that, we'll be hitting the after-Christmas sales pretty hard. It will go quickly, but it will be fun. My January is already a whirlwind of activity with friends in town, the aforementioned office move and church stuff. The year is already promising to be one of significant movement, and, as always, change.

Today I have decided to have a day of preparation - getting ready for my trip, ready to preach on the 6th, ready for worship tomorrow, etc. This year I've been getting from activity to activity and not really in the Advent frame of mind, and so I'm taking today as a focused Advent day to read some of the devotions I've stockpiled, read scripture and focus on the season. And then I'll watch the Cowboys beat Carolina.

She's one of us!

My little Chloe has a very vivid imagination and loves to play pretend. Often, she pretends to be Diego or his cousin Alicia. This past Sunday, Dad picked her up to take her to their church for their kids Christmas play. When he got there, he took her into the kitchen for some reason and some of his friends were in there. When they saw her, they all said, "Oh - is this Chloe?" Her response: "I'm Alicia." When they all were confused by her response, she looked at them and said, "That was a joke." They'd been had by a three-year-old. Love it.

Grocery Bag Day @ Glide Memorial

Today a group of us from the KK went to volunteer at Glide Memorial's Annual Grocery Bag Giveaway. It was one of the biggest of the program's eighteen-year history and a lot of folks received food. There were a lot of thoughts knocking around in my head as I processed what was going on. I was part of the Security team, you know, because I strike such an imposing figure.

1. The TL is a difficult place. At one point we were stationed along the line in front of a corner store. There was a sign posted near the door that stated that dealing drugs there would not be tolerated and would be reported. However, at the time we were standing there, the guy from Miller was unloading case after case of beer, Colt 45, Olde English, etc. Just because they're legal doesn't make them beneficial, and in that neighborhood it's feeding addictions the same way pushing heroine would be.

2. I wonder what happened to people to have them living like that. I saw people who were clearly on drugs, mentally ill, prostitutes, and one pregnant woman who was smoking and looked stoned. My parents have a friend who was on drugs for most of his life and his mother had been a dealer and he's always said that he never knew he could choose a different way. I wonder if that's the case in some of these situations. It makes me so sad and I want to fix it all, but I know that they have to have both the desire and the opportunity. But, I feel as Christians, we are all called to create the opportunities for people to step out into a better life, regardless of their response.

3. Because I was working security, I saw the side of the event where people were taking advantage. I saw people who would go through the line and get their food and then run around and go back and try to get more. Then, they would take their food right down the street, in full view, and sell the groceries to other people. Again, another situation where we have to do what we're told and not try to control the outcome, but that is so difficult. It is so natural for me to want to withhold from someone I believe won't appreciate my efforts, but it's not about that. It's about being who I'm called to be.

L'année du chapeau

I have decided to declare this the Year of the Hat.

The hat and I have a checkered past. I've always loved them and there are several style that I feel I can rock, primarily the cloche and the bucket. There's a very cute red hat at Gap right now that I simply must have. Unfortunately, they only had it in a small size and I have a huge head, so when I tried it on, it was so tight that I started wanting to vote for Mitt Romney.

My mother's favorite childhood humiliation story of mine (and there are several) is the infamous Hat Day incident of 1979. I was in the third grade. My brother was 3 and we were attending the Light & Life Christian School. The preschool where my brother was kept was a separate building at the other end of the parking lot, but they were always bringing the little ankle-biters over and foisting them on us older, and clearly more sophisticated elementary school types. One of the things we always did as a whole school is special emphasis days, spirit weeks, etc. This particular incident occurred when my brother brought home a colorful flyer announcing "Hat Day," detailing a contest with prizes for the most outrageous hats. In my third grade wisdom, I deduced that since it was Hat Day for the preschoolers, it must be Hat Day for us older kids as well. Makes sense, right? I urged my mom to help me create the most fantastic hat we could conjure from bits of kitsch around the house. The result was a white Gilligan hat festooned with souvenirs, pins, toys and pretty much anything we could affix to the sad little floppy hat. I was ready.

My distaste for mornings began early in my life and my morning tardiness has persisted for the whole of my life. I was always a few minutes late every morning for school and this particular morning was no exception. I remember this being a damp morning, and either it was raining or it had rained that night, so I was gingerly picking my way across the basketball court so as not to slip on the concrete, one had holding the atrocity on my head. I ran up the stairs into the classroom just making the bell so I wasn't technically tardy. As I eased into the bustle of children removing coats and backpacks, stowing lunch boxes, my keen powers of observation detected that there were no other hats in the room, whimsical or otherwise. I quickly swept the hat off my head, into my bag, and went on with my day. When mom came to pick me up, she asked me how it went and I told her. She's still laughing.

I made another foray into hat land in the eighth grade when I chose to wear a soft pink hat, that I can only describe as kind of a swinger but not totally. I was the only one wearing a hat, but I didn't care because I loved it. It was my last brave fashion act in a while. The rest of adolescence was spent in dutiful trend-following and primarily safe choices, with the possible exception of bright teal Converse high tops. It was the '80s, after all.

I have declared this the year of the hat, partly because I live in a cool, damp climate, but also because, I look good in some hats and, damnit, I'm 35. If I want to wear a hat, I'm wearing a hat. Welcome to the year of the hat.

The Pot & The Kettle Go to Union Square

Last Sunday evening was The Rock, an annual Christmas carol singing event in Union Square. It was led by the Open Door band and they did a great job. The energy in the crowd was great. People were dancing, singing, sipping hot beverages, and generally having a good time. Of course, it wouldn't be a church-oriented event without a few complaints.

Let me begin with a qualifier: I am an imperfect person. I don't take criticism well, and I have a hard time disguising my disdain for hypocrites. The situation I am about to describe is one that I will not say that I handled perfectly, but I did handle it honestly. Not always the best policy, as it turns out, but gets the job done.

The e-mail comes from the chairperson of the board of trustees at a church where I used to be involved. For our purposes here, we'll call it Former Community Church (FCC). K, the chairperson, e-mailed me to let me know how disappointed she was in this year's event. Fair enough. There's just no way that with an event that size that everyone will be pleased. It was different from last year. We didn't read the Christmas story and we *gasp* sang secular songs. Her e-mail was long, well-thought-out and well-organized, with numbers. However, all of it boiled down to a couple of issues that I think the Church needs to examine.

K comes from a church that is what I affectionately call a toxic cesspool of dysfunction, and I told her as much in my response. Staff and church-goers alike have jumped ship. Those who have left have gone on to cause some mild havoc in the new communities they have joined because of the wounds inflicted on them at FCC. Those who have remained have scratched their heads in dismay, wondering what went wrong. Puzzled, they consulted an expert and had their church evaluated. In all areas but one, they scored in the extremely unhealthy range. Taking their advice on matters of ministry would be tantamount to me taking voice lessons from William Hung.

My point in bringing up FCC's record, is to show that it's so easy to sit in one's glass house and throw stones, and I could stand to work a little harder on that lesson. It's a good reminder that the right to speak truth is earned through mutually respectful relationship.

Another attitude reflected in this communication that irked me is that of consumerism. My particular needs and expectations were not met so you're going to hear about it. If you don't do what I want the way I want it, I'm going to make it an issue of theology so I don't look so shallow. Whatever. It's not about you.

My biggest issue comes from the fact that K was assuming that we all share the same definitions of "worship" and "outreach." From what she wrote in her e-mail, the terms "worship" and "music" are synonymous. Beyond that, "worship" is an event that you attend, rather than a life that you live. If I were to bring this to her, she would argue that she does in fact believe in the definition of worship as a lifestyle, but everything in her e-mail suggests the contrary.

Living a life of worship is outreach. Singing songs about Jesus around people who don't share your beliefs isn't. I'm always amazed at Christians who believe the Holy Grail of evangelism is getting someone to attend church. They eagerly squire their poor, sad non-believing friends around the sanctuary, introducing them to their church friends as, "This is Brenda, my friend from *wink* work." Everyone gives a knowing smile and then watches them with great anticipation, like middle school kids who eat Pop Rocks and drink Coke to see what will happen. I love the church, I work for one, and I still acknowledge that there is no other context where you are encouraged to gather in a room and sing without alcohol. It's weird. I get that.

What bothers me about this particular high horse is that what she's saying is that outreach is only her job to the extent that she gets the people to attend the event. After that, the people up front better make a good sales pitch, otherwise the people she brought are destined for hell and it's ALL THEIR FAULT. If K and the other Christian people were really doing their jobs and loving folks the way Jesus taught us, there would not be nearly so much weight put on those deal-closing gatherings.

Happy Birthday, Boss Man!

Since you're a fan...

Introducing Tarquin

Christmas Cheese

Ok - I'm choosing to out myself as one of Bruce's friends who is all about the cheese this time of year. I'm seriously on it. The house is decorated and I have a REAL tree. While there are exceptions, the fake tree is generally not ok, and if you choose to get one, I will judge you. One of my co-workers was looking for a fake tree on the interwebs and wasn't having much luck - I told her to Google, "the death of all Christmas spirit." I think she found it.

Following Bruce's lead, and because I generally have better taste in music than he does, here is my list of my favorite Christmas albums in no particular order:

1. James Taylor - At Christmas
2. Barenaked Ladies - Barenaked for the Holidays
3. Christmas by the Fireside - a best of with Nat, Bing, Peggy Lee, Dean Martin, etc.
4. Christmas Songs - Diana Krall
5. George Winston - December
6. First Call - An Evening in December, vols. 1 & 2
7. Harry Connick, Jr. - Harry for the Holidays
8. Handel's Messiah: A Soulful Celebration
9. Selah - Rose of Bethlehem
10. Sarah McLachlan - Wintersong
11. A Winter Night's Song - Various

UPDATE: On Ladyburg's recommendation, I purchased the Sufjan Stevens album. LOVE IT!

My New Favorite Christmas Ornament

Apparently, the answer is "hot"

Your Score: Garlic

You scored 25% intoxication, 75% hotness, 75% complexity, and 0% craziness!

You are Garlic! No offence, but you stink. Pretty much everyone loves you, though. You're smart and pretty hot and you fit in with about any culture. You're a total cut-up; in fact, the more cut-up you get, the hotter you become. But be careful, when you get embarrassed, you turn really sweet.

Link: The Which Spice Are You Test written by jodiesattva on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Hot or Not

There are some things that I don't like about being a girl, and that is the tendency to attach emotion to inocuous information. Most of the time I'm pretty good about that, but sometimes when I'm feeling less secure about myself things get blown up in my head that shouldn't. I recently went on Weight Watchers (again) and the initial weigh-in numbers were enough to cause me to hurl myself out of the sixth-story window where we have our meeting. Of course when I went to weigh in, the scale just shut itself off as I was approaching. When the sweet little retired school teacher who was supposed to weigh me wondered aloud about the inopportune shut-off, I assured her that it was because the scale saw me coming and powered-down in protest. The good news is that I have now lost 5.6 pounds with Thanksgiving all in the middle of that, so that's good.

What started the shame spiral was a very, VERY harmless comment made by a very kind person who had no idea that I'm a wreck. He made a comment about another person's girlfriend and that he would need to stay away from her because she's hot. What happens in my head - "Clearly, I'm not hot," I say. I know. I know. Normally, I don't care, but for some reason, I was in that place. I've never thought of myself as particularly "hot" and really never aspired to be so. Just had a moment. Turns out, he thinks I'm totally hot. Well played, sir.

In general, I do not respond well to hearing about my shortcomings. I'm so acutely aware of them that when someone else tells me that my flaws are showing I want to curl up and die. Case in point, I had a little family drama this weekend. Apparently, I wasn't as well behaved as I'd hoped over Thanksgiving and I heard about it from the parents. Some of what they said was fair, but some was completely unfounded and I was pretty furious. I had a good talk with my brother and then later with my mom, and we got things ironed out, but I was pretty much a wreck. I cried all morning on Monday, resulting in a very puffy afternoon.

Also just preached a sermon on inner peace and the importance of being anchored at the center. Yes - that was me. I don't know why they let me get up there and say that stuff.

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I've only not been home at Thanksgiving one time and it was awful. I love it because of the food, more specifically, because I get to cook most of the food. Dad is a complete traditionalist when it comes to the turkey, the dressing, the mashed potatoes and the cranberry fluff. We have the recipes for the dressing and the fluff in Granny's handwriting that my mom keeps in a special place in the recipe drawer.

I also have The Fork. It's a fork that for some reason I associate with cooking with Granny. I don't really know where it came from. It's ginormous and it has notches on the sides just below the tines. I can't make Thanksgiving food without it. Mom has tried to substitute another large fork, but it's not The Fork. Someday I'll pass it on to Chloe.

One of our family traditions is that we do our Thanksgiving dinner on Friday. It started when Todd got married and we needed to figure out a time share with them. Lisa's family is bigger than ours, so they have more people to work around. I really love it and it's become way more normal to me than having it on Thursday. Here's why we do our dinner on Friday:

1. As I said, Todd can go to his in-laws
2. Most everyone works through Wednesday, so it's tough to pull off a big dinner in that amount of time. This way, we can do some cooking on Thursday and some on Friday and not be rushed
3. The stores are open, so if we need something we can go get it
4. We can invite other people, because they've already done their dinner
5. I can watch the Cowboys play on Thursday without interruption

The great thing is that we can even still go shopping on Black Friday, but we do it in the evening when everyone else has gone home. It's a win-win.

Another family tradition is pictured above - the littlest one crumbles the cornbread. I love how Chloe is sitting up on the kitchen counter and tucked under the cabinet. Alas, she will be too big this year to do that, but she is still going to be crumbling the cornbread. Next year Ian will be able to join her.

No boys allowed!

Boys, you're going to want to go in the other room and watch the game about now.

Are they gone?

Ok.

There's a website for our lady parts. Who knew? I clicked on this link on my gmail, because, well, I had to click on this link, and apparently we cannot be left with out uterus(i?) unsupervised. There is a website called MyMonthlyCycles.com that keeps track of everything from our, well, cycles, to our doctor's appointments and self breast exams. Couldn't we just put it in Outlook and synch it with our PDAs?

It's also possible that I find this curious because inside, I am a 13-year-old boy. To wit - there is an elevator in our building that is crying out for a remote-controlled whoopie cushion and it seems that I am the only one that can hear it.

I've been tagged by LadyBurg

Tagged = someone challenges you to come up with 10 random things about yourself, then you have to tag 5 other bloggers.

Here goes:

1. I can only eat snack foods (i.e., peanuts, crackers, cookies, m & m's, etc.) in even numbers. However, this rule does not apply to chips, except Pringles.

2. I read magazines from front to back, but I read newspapers and peruse catalogs from back to front. Interesting side note: I found out only a couple of years ago that my dad does the exact same thing.

3. When reading a novel, I read about 1/3 of the way through and then I read the end. The interesting thing for me is how they get from where I am to where they end up.

4. I love fried chicken gizzards.

5. My family celebrates Thanksgiving on Friday. It's so we can have other people over, my brother can go to his in-laws, we have an extra day to prep, and I can watch the Cowboys play.

6. My pajamas have to match, and I can only wear them one night and then I have to wash them.

7. I don't have pierced ears.

8. I have never seen any of the Rocky, Godfather or James Bond movies.

9. I am a very good cook, fairly good at baking, but for some reason I am rubbish with making cookies.

10. I read Perez Hilton religiously, but am not proud of it.

Thanks, Ladyburg.

Now it's your turn:
AbbyKK
Katherine @ Gleaming Lark
Kristen (Ft.) Rudd
Mrs. Donut
Two Worlds One

The Reluctant Dinosaur

Really, this is just an excuse to post pictures of my babies, since I am the most obnoxiously doting aunt in the free world. Here are a few gems from halloween

Chloe is Tinkerbell and Ian is a dinosaur, and he's so not into it.

Cheerios? Never mind. All is forgiven




















The Trick or Treat crew - I don't know the Mickey baby, but I had to post b/c of the gloves and the shoes. Priceless!

Songs I Never Skip on the iPod

I use my iPod all the time and I'm a random girl - I rarely listen to one artist or one album. However, depending on the mood I'm in, I'll skip songs until I find one that fits my mood. Here is a list of songs that I love and NEVER skip, regardless of mood.

1. Don't Dream it's Over - Crowded House
2. Scratch - Kendall Payne
3. Book of Love - Peter Gabriel
4. Ain't No Sunshine - Lighthouse Family
5. Mating Game - Bitter:Sweet
6. If I Had a Boat - Lyle Lovett
7. Pour Some Sugar on Me - Def Leppard (shut up)
8. Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
9. Mystery - Indigo Girls
10. Schadenfreude - Avenue Q
11. Edge of the Ocean - Ivy
12. Power of Two - Indigo Girls
13. Old Apartment - Barenaked Ladies
14. The Road's My Middle Name - Bonnie Raitt (or anything from Nick of Time)
15. Any song from Come On, Come On by Mary Chapin Carpenter
16. Why - Annie Lennox
17. Venus - Bananarama
18. Slow Down - Ben Jelen
19. Where is the Love - Black-Eyed Peas
20. Life is Short - Butterfly Boucher
21. Lady Marmalade from Moulin Rouge
22. To the Only God - Dave Crowder & Shane Barnard
23. I Will Follow You Into the Dark - Death Cab for Cutie
24. Fields of Gold - Eva Cassidy
25. Let Go - Frou Frou
26. Gone Daddy Gone - Gnarls Barkley
27. I Need You to Survive - Hezekiah Walker
28. 24 - Jem
29. In the Air - Laurell Barker
30. Get Outta My Kitchen - Ledisi
31. You Are Mine - Mute Math
32. All Night - Sam Phillips
33. Dwelling Place - Tommy Walker
34. Moondance - Van Morrison
35. Bust A Move - Young MC

There comes a shaking...

I'm sitting on my couch, minding my own business, watching the pilot episode of Samantha Who? when there comes the sound of a freight train and the swaying of the house. We had ourselves a quake - a 5.6 quake. (Please note that the quality is "excellent.") Not the big one, but the moderate one. It would probably vote for John McCain. Apparently, there have been a number of aftershocks but I've only felt maybe one. Of course, I called my parents, which is comforting for me, but less so for them.

In addition to the ground, there has been some shaking of the public relations sort at the Khaki Khonglomerate (KK). This weekend there was a report in a UK newspaper claiming that some Kids Khakis were being made by, well, kids in India. Mad scramble to release statements, president and SVP of Social Responsibility on GMA, etc. Turns out, we have 2,000 factories worldwide, 10% of which are in India. The KK does extensive monitoring of all overseas operations and child labor is an absolute deal-breaker. Obviously, this situation was leaped upon and the facts came to light. One of our factories there subcontracted out to another factory, which is against our policy, and they didn't tell us. Our team went in, found out what was going on, and are evaluating next steps. The main factory that caused this employs 4,000 people and for it to be immediately shut down has a huge economic impact on the area, so the situation is being evaluated responsibly. The product made will not be sold. So feel free to use those Friends & Family cards, folks. No children were used to make the clothing you put on your children.

Here's why I love Mute Math

Two quotes diverged in a wood...

From Christianity Today, the following quotes:

"The righteous have dominion, but only through imprecatory prayer against the ungodly."

- Wiley S. Drake, pastor of First Southern Baptist Church of Buena Park, California, urging Christians to pray against Americans United for Separation of Church and State.

"The emphasis I tried to leave was love … that they need to have love for the people who were opposed to them."

- Billy Graham, on his relationship with 11 presidents.

The most shocking thing about that first quote? A Southern Baptist used the word "imprecatory." Unfortunately, old Wiley isn't up on his Baptist history. Separation of church and state is kind of a big deal for Baptists. Southern Baptists should never speak in public. Ever. Richard Land should speak for all of them - not because I agree with him, but because he is intelligent, well-spoken and thoughtful.

Billy Graham's quote is one of the main reasons he will be remembered for generations and Wiley will not, except maybe as a crazy person. Calling down curses on the "ungodly," and defining "ungodly" as anyone who disagrees with you is probably not the most effective evangelism tool out there. As Billy Graham's time on this earth draws to a close, we can all look to the example of his life as not perfect, but obedient. He used a method that was honest for him to communicate God's love to the world.

So, to all the Wileys of the world - sit down, shut up, and love your neighbor.

Isn't it Ironic?

Heidi Fleiss is a vegetarian. I'm just saying...

In the Valley of Elah

Paul Haggis is the man behind the film who has now come in front of the film and is making some of the most poignant films of our time. The writer/director of Crash and the writer of Million Dollar Baby has now brought us In the Valley of Elah, the story of a man investigating the murder of his son who has recently returned from a tour in Iraq.

Tommy Lee Jones plays retired Sargent Deerfield, a Vietnam Vet who had worked CID for 30 years and now hauls gravel. He is awakened by a phone call from the base telling him that his son, who has just returned, is AWOL and has 48 hours to return to the base. Suspecting foul play, Jones heads out to Fort Rudd in New Mexico to check it out. Deerfield is a study in creases. His clothes are perfect. His bed is perfect. His shoes are perfectly shined and placed next to his bed at night. His life is a carefully crafted rhythm of habits intended to create the illusion that all is right with the world. He is stoic, forthright and abrupt. Life is a puzzle to be solved, and he always has the answer.

Deerfield arrives in New Mexico to a less than warm reception from the MP and the local police detective, played by Charlize Theron trying very hard not to be pretty. When unknown remains are found near a local road and jurisdiction is volleyed between local police and the MP, things get tricky as Deerfield's instincts kick in and he makes enemies on all sides. The remains are discovered to be those of Michael Deerfield and as the story unfolds, Deerfield begins to unravel.

Few actors can rival Morgan Freeman in the area of gravitas, but Jones gives him a run for his money in this role. He should teach a class in how to have your eyes well up without a single tear falling - ever. The downward spiral is subtle for most, but cataclysmic for a man whose life is so calculated. First, he is caught by Theron in the laundromat and is forced to wear an un-ironed, not-quite-dry shirt. Then he takes a sip of beer. Then a cigarette. Then a shot of JD. He begins to sleep later and later. The hotel bed once carefully made, now comes undone underneath the tossing and turning of his inner turmoil and it is of no interest to him.

This story is about fighting fear and defeating giants. The title of the film is a biblical reference to the valley where Goliath would come out and challenge the army of Israel to come and fight him and where he was ultimately defeated by David. What Haggis has done is take his typical style of weaving together many intersecting stories and created levels of symbol in one story. Jones' character descends from a place of solid, protective presence to one of unhinged chaos - a clear picture of the place of the United States in the world. But who is David and who is Goliath? In this story, we are all both.

As this film is set against the current war in Iraq, we can't help but see the obvious picture of the US as Goliath, but this film shows us both the internal and external Goliaths that loom equally large. Externally, Jones was up against the local police, the military police and his wife as he searched for what happened to his son. Internally, he was faced with his own fear, memories of his own war experience, and the knowledge that he could pinpoint the moment when his son needed him most and he wasn't there for him.

My major takeaway from this film is that things cannot continue as they are. A particularly heartbreaking moment in the film is when Jones is cleaning out his son's barracks and a young, still-pimpled recruit moves in to the space and Jones looks at him with abject pity for what he's about to experience. We are in a war that has no foreseeable end, is costing us billions of dollars but is costing us more in what damage is being done to those who are returning. We are creating a generation of men and women who have witnessed unspeakable tragedies and have no way to cope except by diminishing their own humanity and that of those around them. Ironic for an ardently pro-life administration. This has got to stop. We have a power-hungry, war-mongering administration and an impotent, non-binding-resolution-drafting Congress and people are dying in droves, and not just physically. When will it end?

Happiness is...

• Sleeping late on Saturday morning
• Coffee, coffee, coffee
• Watching an absolutely riveting performance by George Clooney in the brilliant Michael Clayton (honorary Oscars go to the dark circles under Clooney's eyes and Tilda Swinton's Spanx)
  
• A walk in Golden Gate Park on a warm, sunny October afternoon
• Stumbling upon a showcase of local artists and being inspired
  
• Coming up with a freaking GENIUS idea for the Advent Art Group
• Walking into a neighborhood bar and watching the Cowboys beat the Vikings
• Making a big dish of chicken enchiladas for dinner with a friend and having leftovers for the rest of the week
• Near-full sign-up sheets for the kids in Africa
• Having a deep conversation with a friend after seeing the amazing, stunningly well-done In the Valley of Elah (review to be posted)
• Having great friends, co-ministers and family with me along the journey
• My Monday morning ritual of waking up early, putting on the coffee and curling up to watch Brothers & Sisters on the interwebs
  

Introversion and Independence

I am an introvert. Not a shrinking violet, but an introvert. I recharge by being alone. This morning, as I was walking in GG Park (alone) I was thinking about the difference between being an introvert and being independent. I think that most of my life I have erroneously believed that the combination of my introversion and my fairly strong independent streak makes me a self-contained unit. This is not the case. I am both an introvert and independent but that doesn't mean I am without dependence. I need the people of my community. I need to take breaks from them, to be sure, but I need them.

Bruce posted yesterday about what he's learned from his friends, and I want to say - Seriously? Get out of my brain! I was totally thinking something similar just this week. I have amazing people in my life and I'm so thankful for all we can be for each other and all we can learn from each other. I am, however, going to stop short of posting a cheesy song. Gratitude does not equal schmaltz.

This week I had the incredibly pleasant experience of having a flat tire on 280 while on my home from Trader Joe's. My friend Kenny helped me. A lot. Without my friend Gina, I would never go to the gym. My connection to the worship team folks motivates me to keep up my own spiritual practices. My fabulous co-workers motivate me to stay on top of my work load. Yesterday, my dad talked me through adding power steering fluid to my car.

As I get older and learn more I am increasingly comfortable relaxing into the space community provides. It's not the easiest thing for me, but I'm glad that those with whom I am in community are patient with my weirdness and community impairment.

Perhaps I'm not as cool as I think I am

Do you ever listen to/watch something that gets such amazing buzz and walk away saying, "Meh." The infotainment "journalists" have repeatedly told me that I am to like St. Vincent's debut album Marry Me. It's ok. I don't love it. In fact, every time a song from that album comes up on my Pandora, I think, "Sweet Jeebus, that's annoying - who is that?" And then I go check, and it's St. Vincent and I let it play because I've been told to love it, and I just don't. There are one or two songs, but overall, a bit whiny. Sorry, Entertainment Weekly. It's not you, it's me...